


Oh, to be a Pirate King

by Purple_ducky00



Series: AU-gust prompts [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, F/F, M/M, Multi, Tony Stark Has Daddy Issues, pirate captain james rhodes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:54:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25823977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purple_ducky00/pseuds/Purple_ducky00
Summary: Pirate Captain James Rhodes was looking for a one-night stand. He ends up with two crewmates who make him RICH.
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, James "Bucky" Barnes/James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: AU-gust prompts [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859422
Kudos: 18





	Oh, to be a Pirate King

Captain James Rhodes is looking for a partner… or at least a good night’s lay. After ten months at sea, he really needs to get his whistle wet. He walks into the pub and looks around for a suitable person. The busty woman at the bar? No, she’s got tons of men hanging all over her. The man in the corner, taking requests? No, he seems to do this nightly. The woman at the… no, James sees the best candidate. There’s a man who is sitting at the table by the window. Not well-dressed enough to be anyone important, he seems to be the correct amount of everything James would want. He sidles up to the man and asks, “Do you have anywhere to be tonight?”

The man looks him up and down. James could get lost in those honey brown eyes. “Hmm… not bad. However, I have a husband, and he’s buying me a drink as we speak.” He nods to a Navy captain standing at the bar.

James’ eyes widen. He’s a pirate, and Navy captains hate him from the get-go. Imagine if this Navy captain knew James was trying to proposition his husband! “Well, thank you very much. I must go.”

“Wait.” The man grabs his wrist. “My husband and I were talking of spicing it up a bit, if you know what I’m talking about. Why don’t you wait until he comes back?”

“How do I know you’re not telling me to wait here so he’ll try to kill me?” James challenges.

“Oh, my James is pretty level-headed. People hit on me all the time, and he’s never tried to kill them.”

“Even pirates?”

“Even pirates.” Tony’s eyes search his. “I guess that means you’re a pirate.”

“I was curious.” James tries to play it off.

The Navy captain approaches the table with two ales in hand. “Well dearest, who’s this?”

The man stands up to kiss the captain. “Hello my James. This man may be our bed partner tonight.”

“Interesting.” The other James narrows his eyes at Rhodes. “And you are?”  
  
  
“James Rhodes. Nice to meet you.” Rhodes holds out his hand to shake.

The man at the table laughs. “Ok, two Jamses? This will not do. You will be James.” He places a hand on his husband’s shoulder. “And you will be Rhodey.” He lays his other hand on Rhodes’.

“Tony, are we sure about this guy? We don’t even know him.” James warns.

Tony shrugs. “He was very respectful of me when I told him I was married. Come on James. Just give him a chance.”

“Fine. Meet us here at 7 tonight.” James looks Rhodey in the eye. “Be prepared for whatever.”

The now-dubbed Rhodey nods. He leaves to make a few purchases. _Got to be back at the tavern by 7._ By the time he makes it back – a few minutes til 7, both James and Tony are there. He nods to them, and they make their way to the back steps.

In the room, James says, “Ok, these are the rules. Be safe, make sure everyone is comfortable. If anyone says stop, we all stop, ok?” Both Tony and Rhodey nod. “Ok, get started.” Tony pulls Rhodey in for a kiss, unbuttoning his shirt while he’s at it. Rhodey in turn does the same. Once they both pulls their shirts over their heads, they reach for the other’s britches. They both quickly step out of their pants and undergarments. Taking a quick look at James, Rhodey notices he is palming himself through his pants.

Tony pushes Rhodey on the bed and slithers up to suck him off. Quickly James joins the mix, and they take their time working each other up. Once they all come, they all fall back on the bed, worn out. The next morning, Rhodey thanks them for the experience and tells them he has to leave with his ship.

James mentions that no royal ships are scheduled to go out today. He looks at Rhodey to figure out his ship, and Rhodey quickly gets out of there before the Navy captain figures out that he’s a pirate.

Carol Danvers, his first mate, comments on his late arrival. “Did you have fun last night?”

“Not all of us can have our fun on board,” He grumbles. Carol and her partner Maria are on the same watch so that they can sleep together during their rest times.

“Sounds like a personal problem to me.” She grins.

Rhodey spends most of his voyage wondering about James and Tony. He had had such a great time that night. Would they want him back again? Did he cure that want once-and-for-all? He guesses he will see when they return to that port.

After a few raids and a couple bad storms, the _War Machine_ docks again for new supplies and new sailors. Rhodey once again returns to the tavern, hoping to see Tony or James. To his disappointment, he does not see them.

He returns to his ship the next day, dejected. He’s about to walk on back to his cabin when he hears a man’s voice. “Excuse me, but do you know a James Rhodes?” That’s Tony!

“Who’s asking?” Carol demands.

“This is James Barnes, and I’m his husband Tony. Many months ago, we spent a euphoric night with Mr. Rhodes, and he mentioned to me he was a pirate. Well, Jamie and I have had a falling out with the Queen, and we’d like to join your crew.”

“Let me talk to the captain.” Rhodey can hear the suspicion in her voice.

Spotting Rhodey, she walks up to him and asks, “Did you hear that exchange?”

“Yes,” he says. “Bring them on board. I will speak with them.”

Carol leads them to him. “How can I help you?” He is aware of the pinned-up sleeve at Bucky’s left shoulder where an arm had been the last time that he’d seen them.

“Oh, Rhodey!” Tony smiles. “We’ve missed you.” Rhodey looks at Barnes who nods but does not smile. “You see, Bucky lost his arm in battle with a French ship. Now that he can’t ‘sail’ anymore, as deemed by the British Navy, he was forced to resign and is now jobless. You see, I can work for the both of us, but we both hate the British now, so we thought it would be best to join you on your pirate ship if you would have us?” Tony adds a questioning tone to his last sentence.

Rhodey considers. “Do you know how to work a ship?”

“Of course. I am the son of a sea merchant. I have accompanied him on many a voyage. Bucky here does as well, but he may not be able to help in much of the physical jobs.”

“I would love for you to come aboard, and as Captain, I ultimately have the last word, but let me check with my officers.” Rhodey advises. He calls his advisors to his cabin, and they talk it out.

Sam Wilson, the second mate, sighs with relief. “Use the old Naval captain as your second mate. I’m going to sit this one out. Go back to my husband on land.” Carol also gives her assent.

Rhodey is happy to welcome the two on board. Tony is promoted to ship carpenter as they had yet to find a new one ever since Mr. Rocket was killed in battle. They set sail the next day.

The crew of the _War Machine_ knows there are only a few set rules. No fighting between crewmates, consent is necessary, and always obey the captain. As second mate, James has his own cabin. Tony and he sleep there when they are not on their shifts. Rhodey wants to join them, he really does, but they have never asked him again.

He spends a month staying in his cabin unless needed. Even when James comes to help him plot a chart, Rhodey stays aloof and reserved. James doesn’t comment on it at all. Rhodey almost spits out his coffee when he overhears Tony ask Carol. “Is it illegal to sex up the captain?”

“Not that I know of,” Carol replies. “He’s a little oblivious, though. You might have to spell it out for him.”

Rhodey doesn’t here from Tony until two days later. He walks back into his cabin, exhausted from a hard day when he notices there is something on his bed. It’s Tony, dressed only in one of Rhodey’s white shirts and a red pair of lacy undergarments. Rhodey stutters, unsure of what to do.  
  
“Do you want me to go?” Tony asks.

  
“Never!” Rhodey blurts. Embarrassed, he pulls himself together. “Do- uh- Does James know you’re here?”

“I’m right here.” James steps out from the shadows. He also is wearing close to nothing.

Tony kneels on the bed. “We want you to be with us always. How does that sound?”

“You-you mean, like, always? Like, you sleep here with me each night? That kind of always?” Rhodey wants to make sure he’s getting everything right.

James nods. “That kind of always. We are asking you to court us, Rhodey.”

Flabbergasted, the only thing Rhodey can do is nod. He never would have imagined that they’d want him forever. He is sure to shout his approval, though, when James and Tony slowly and sensually give him the best night of his life.

The next day, Rhodey is riding a high like he never has before. He’s sitting in his cabin when Carol knocks on the door. “We are coming up on a merchant ship. Do we engage?”

He’s about to answer when Tony barges in. “Oh, apologies,” he says when he notices Carol. She rolls her eyes good-naturedly and motions at him. “Ok. So, we’re coming up on my father’s prize ship. Can we blast it to Davy Jones’ locker?” He asks excitedly.

“Daddy issues?” Carol comments. Tony nods and she smirks. “I get you.” They shake hands on the understanding.

“If you want it to go down, it will go down. Do you know anything about the ship’s defense systems?”

Tony smiles dazzlingly. “Unfortunately for you, I created them. But fortunately for you, I built a machine to go against their defenses. Follow me, let me show you.” He leads them down to his work area on deck where there is a machine shaped like a large fan. “So, they basically have a force field they put up around their ship. Nothing can penetrate it. I can make us one, if you’d like. The only different thing I’ll need is a sapphire and a ruby both bigger than my hand.”

“So how does this penetrate the force field?” Carol queries.

“It doesn’t. The only thing that can is vibranium spears from Wakanda, and they don’t just give them out.” Tony pats his machine. “This thing will suck all the ions holding the force field together into one area. This will pull the force field to that one area. We can attack the rest. Aim this at the mast, and we can bring the boat down for sure. Usually they don’t have many fighters because no one has yet to cut through the force field, but as this is the _SHEILD_ , he might have some people there, just in case. This boat is his pride and joy. I’d like to see it sink. The best thing about it sinking is he’ll know I had a hand in it.”

James had walked up while Tony was demonstrating and is now watching silently. “What if the Navy catches up with us?”

“Well, it would be better if I found that sapphire and ruby sooner than later.” Tony snarks back.

“Just steal it from your dad’s ship.” James says it like it’s a no-brainer, causing Tony to smile widely.

He kisses James and says, “You are amazing. See, that’s why I love you.” Then, making sure Rhodey doesn’t feel left out, he walks over and kisses him, too. “You both are my favorites.”

The crew gets ready for attack. Once close to the _SHIELD_ , Tony starts up the machine and aims at the mast. Rhodey calls to fire the cannon, and the deck of the _SHIELD_ splits on impact. The crew is up in a frenzy – no one has ever breached their defenses! The battle is quick. Rhodey’s crew quickly ransacks the ship, even pulling the force field parts to the _War Machine_. Howard’s ship is left burning.


End file.
